It seems natural to write this on January 12th, 2012, exactly one year after being diagnosed with the life-threatening medical condition of Deep Vein Thrombosis.
As the year 2011 was coming near the end, I was dreading the thought of an entire year known as 2012.
For the past five years, the number twelve has had an adverse effect on me. When that number would surface in my life, in any way, shape or form, I’d cringe, as if a huge dark cloud consumed me. It had become so overwhelming, that I’d avoid that number whenever possible. For example, when playing “Scrabble” or “Words With Friends”, if my score was to end up being twelve, I’d find another word to play, even if it meant a lower count. Never ever would I choose the number twelve, when picking lottery numbers to play. Please don't give me a hotel room with the number 12, and don't offer to seat me at table 12 in a restaurant! I was allowing the number twelve to control my actions. The twelfth of any month caused uneasiness within me.
You see, on December 12th, 2006, my precious step-daughter was killed in a car accident, at the very young age of only 31. Then on December 12th, 2009, my amazing, loving father passed away.
Although not nearly as devastating as the loss of two very special people, as mentioned above, it was the 12th of January 2011, after an entire day in Urgent Care, when I was given the frightening news of the DVT diagnosis.
In my twisted, grieving mind, the number twelve was causing depression, sadness, and at times, even misery and a feeling of hopelessness. So, it seemed understandable (to me anyway), that the year 2012 was going to be a very long twelve (there’s that number again!) months to survive. I’m not one to “worry”, but yet, I wondered how I would manage.
As the new year of 2012 arrived, I was blessed miraculously with one of those glorious "A-HA” moments! Suddenly the terror of the number twelve transformed into a “Gratitude Moment”! I knew that 2012 would be a wonderful year, filled with magical memories.
All it took was a simple change in perspective - -
an attitude adjustment!
You see, NOW, when the number twelve surfaces for me, a new perspective has transformed my thoughts of loss (of very special loved ones), into precious memories of those loved ones --- wonderful memories dance in my mind and sing in my heart and soul.
NOW, the number twelve sends me reminders of how wonderful these two individuals were, the influence they had on my life, and how my life was better because they had been a part of it.
For this, and for perspective and attitude, I am GRATEFUL.
In gratitude & love, always ♥
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